Often, it comes when you least expect it: Yes, I am talking about the relationship break up and it is one of the worst things a person can go through – no, I’m not kidding. Think about it: what else can stir such extreme emotions in a matter of minutes?
Yet, relationship breakups are something that adult humans have to deal with. I would wager that just about everyone has had to deal with a breakup at some point – and the majority of those are likely bad breakups.
Okay, if you are going through a tough time right now and your ex dumped you, the only thing that you are concerned with is getting back together. You don’t care how, you just need it to happen. In fact, you would even take a pity reconciliation if your ex gave you one. Tsk, tsk.
Can you see the problem here? Well, for one, you are running on pure emotion if all you need is to get him/her back this instant. It isn’t going to happen, and the harder you try, the worse it is going to be. When I say worse, I mean that you are likely to make the situation so bad that you would be lucky to get them back at all – ever. Second, you are selling yourself out. You are giving up your self-respect and telling your ex that whatever they do, whatever they decide, you are fine with it. Is it any wonder that they are treating you the way they do?
Do yourself a favor right now and step back from whatever you are doing. If you find yourself texting and phoning them constantly, then you really do need to take a minute and gather your thoughts – and now. Take a minute to think about the situation you are in. Did you know that there is almost no way anything good can come out of continuing to contact him/her?
If you are having a hard time with the breakup, rest assured that you are not the only one who has ever gone through this. Who can really say that they have handled a breakup with poise and dignity? Not many, that’s for sure. But, none of that really matters now because you are hurting and you need a solution.
As tough as it may be to do right now, you have to get away. All the stress and anxiety you are feeling at this moment is because you are still involved – you are too close to the action and everything is going to remind you of your ex.
Once you have some time to think, you may realize that the world is not going to end because you split with your former partner. Yeah, there is going to be a grieving period, but that’s the way we get over these things. And, hey, you may even have a chance to get back together at some point.
However, this is also a time to come to terms with your situation. You may not ever get back with your loved one. Your relationship with this person may be over for good. That is certainly not what you wanted to hear, but it is the truth. The breakup happened for a reason and there may never be a path back to the way things were. The sooner you accept that, the better.
Planning a life without your ex is not something that you may want to do right now. And, by all means, make sure that you’ve given it enough time before throwing in the towel, but you also have to plan for a life on your own if it comes to that.
Give it a few weeks at least before you come to any conclusions. This cooling off period is needed because emotions on both sides are going to be high and things have to subside. Once level heads are prevailing once more, try to get a feel for where you stand. If you have done everything by the book, you will not have contacted your ex during this period. If you have, start over.
Making contact with your ex is going to be precarious. You are going to have to do it in such a way that makes it look like you aren’t trying to coerce them back. You have to come off in a non-threatening way that tells them that there are no tricks up your sleeve.
Needless to say, any mention of romance, getting back together, or that sort of thing is going to be your undoing. Yes, you may be tempted to tell him/her that you love them, but don’t do it – I am not kidding. Bid your time and have patience.
Now, the other thing that you are going to have to do is make sure you show them why they ought to take you back. You aren’t going to do this verbally and it isn’t going to be so obvious. In other words, you aren’t going to convince them how great you are by telling them. You have to bring something to the table that is new and exciting or they are going to see the same old you and be reminded of the same old relationship.
You are not going to get your ex back if nothing has changed. Yes, you took some time off, but things are still the same.
The one thing that has to happen now is for your ex to feel attraction toward you. Nothing is going to happen unless they NEED to be with you. You have to be on their mind all the time and they have to be inexplicably drawn to you. But how do you do that if they know everything there is to know about you and, seemingly, that is not good enough?
Well, you have to work on creating attraction. What? Yep, not only is it possible to become someone they think about all day, but you can use that as an almost sure way to get the relationship fired up again.
Relationship Break Up 